Rhubarb leaf bird baths

That lady in the "how to" video was just a little bit full of shit. She had the wrong measurments. She said she used equal parts of sand and cement, then she said one cup of one and two cups of the other. That is not equal parts..expert fucking village. So I just guessed. I put in more cement than sand, I can tell you that. And her 3 cups of material is NOT going to cover a Hosta leaf. Geez. Anyway, I used Rhubarb leaves and here's what I ended up doing.

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I used the sod I've been digging for mounds (to save on sand) then I evened them out with sand. I put my foot in there to show you how big they are. Then I put my leaf on and covered it all in cement. I made two and I used about 25 lbs of cement and oh, I don't know, about 5-7 pounds of sand for the mix, plus water. I mixed it until it looked like cake frosting. Then I troweled it onto the leaf. I made sure it was good and thick so it wouldn't break when it's dry.

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I guess you're not supposed to put your hands in cement because it's slightly caustic, but, I forgot gloves and I didn't want to be fucking around while my cement dried out so I got my hands all in it. You can push the cement back up on the edges so it looks good and thick there. My hands got red and real dry, but, it didn't really hurt too much, except where I had a cut.

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I hope these come out good. I found out working with cement is not hard, it's just heavy. It's really heavy work and I'm tired. My back hurts too, but that could be from gardening. I'll let you know how they worked out in a couple of days. We can unmold them and see if they're birdbaths or a big pile of shit.

The commets section is finally fixed!

I finally found the right buttons and template. It's just like DirtyDisher now. Try it.

Radishes are up

It was almost dark out tonight when I took that pic. And yes, I DO see that weed. I have bigger fish to fry right now than radish weeding. It's supposed to rain all week, which is good. I like the rain, I like gardening in the rain. I DO NOT like sun. Have I told you that? I know, it's kind of stupid for an albino sun hater to garden, but, I love growing things. But, the sun can kiss my ass, I'm not dealing with it.

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So come on rain! I can get the rest of the grass removed. It's easier when it rains. If mom doesn't turn on the GD hose soon I'm going to get seriously pissed. The hose spigot is on her side. She has this weird thing about the hose and it's not cheapness. She doesn't care how much water I use in this garden, but, she has this goofy idea that if it freezes it will break her pipes. No matter how many times I tell her it won't freeze that hard in May, she just looks at me blankly. So weird. She also has a fear of her own basement where the water valve is and won't go down there. She always says Joey has to turn it on. She has to call Joey. Joey is our resident handyman and my cousin. I like my cousin Joey, he's kind of a cool dude and he does know a lot, but, I'm pretty sure I can turn on a water valve in the scary haunted basement. Mom doesn't believe it. No, no..we have to call Joey. I don't know what happened down there, but, she hasn't gone down there in 30 years. No shit.

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It's kind of cold still at night here in Iowa, but, it's not supposed to go below 50. Everything should be alright out there with my tiny plants. If it does snow, it won't hurt anything as long as it melts quick. If we get a blizzard..I'm blaming it on my Mother. Bad juju. Bad Basement JuJu.

Rhubarb leaves

Miss Peggy bought me Rhubarb leaves out of her mom's garden because I want to make a bird bath out of them. They're taller than my kitchen table! Her sister made on of these leaf bird baths and I haven't seen it, but, I'll bet it's pretty. Those girls are pretty handy. They're artists, sure, but, also just damn handy. I think I'm kind of handy..maybe. There's video on You Tube showing how to make the leaf birdbath. HERE. Those chicks in the video are sort of boring..well, they are! But, at least it explains the process. I have to get cement tomorrow, these leaves won't last long. I'll blog about it. If it turns out good, I'll gloat, but, if it tuns out a retarded mess, I'll blog that too and you can laugh at me. Either way, I'll be eating Rhubarb pie tomorrow night and you can't beat that with a stick. Yum.

Needful things..

This is The Shop. When you hear me mention the shop, it's this. My friend Glenna owns this place and she has for decades. It's right on the square and it's a used bookstore and she has new....stuff. I rent a teeny room from her to read Tarot cards in and it's a pleasant place to work. There's always books to read, though she sells mostly romance and I can skip that section. There are magical types of things, like misters and oil lamps and salt lights (those are gorgeous) and dolls and crystals and...stuff. It's a good place to be, very comfortable. She's not all uptight about anything and there are always piles of stuff to be sorted and boxes to be picked through. Comfortable mess. Lots of purses and if you sort through new arrivals sometimes you find designer stuff mixed in with the ordinary.

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Her daughter, Tammy is a herbalist and she sells her wares there. Tammy is a good friend of mine and she's knowledgeable. She makes excellent soap. Bar soap is almost a thing of the past now that we can buy liquid, but, nothing gets garden dirt out of your fingernails like bar soap. I use it all the time and it's so nice on your skin. Not like that commercial crap that's so harsh. I like the goats milk the best, but, there are different kinds. I'm going to make soap this summer just because it looks like fun. I don't need another reason.

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Tammy makes incense too and it's really good stuff. So, this is where I work. We visit and have lunch at the store and it's just nice, never stressful. I got tired of stressful. I don't make a lot of money anymore, but, I make enough to get by and I don't know what more you could want. Unless you like being stressed.

Freshly captured fairy folk

I'm sorry the picture is so blurry, I HAVE to get a new camera. These are some fairy's we got in at the shop. They're called Freshly Captured Fairy Folk and each one comes with it's own legend and no two are alike. I put them on because, if you're crafty, you could make your own. The topper is a piece of burlap tied with twine. The fairies look like resin..but, you could use that oven clay just as well. I bought one for my daughter and she loved it. They're only $7 bucks. I thought they were just very cute.

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I found a better picture on the net. Their faces are simple and anyone could make that. If you had time..sigh.

Lissa's bean garden

Lissa planted beans yesterday all by herself. I removed the grass and she dug it out with her little shovel, then I helped her smooth it with a rake. It was odd that I didn't have to show her how to plant beans, she just knew and spaced them about right. Then she watered them with her super soaker and blew bubbles on them to help them grow. She ran whooping out this morning to see if her beans were up and she thought she saw one, but, it was a stray rag weed. That's okay, they'll be up next weekend. I don't know how straight her rows are and I don't care. My rows aren't straight either. She told me beans are disgusting, but, she might eat some of HER beans. Yeah, I told her they might be magic beans that actually taste good.
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Lissa says she has magic powers and she's worried that someone could steal her powers. I told her everyone has magic powers and I don't think that's silly. No one can steal your magic powers unless you let them. She didn't tell me what her powers are, but, she waves her arms when she talks about them. That's throwing some energy right there..I don't know what she's throwing though. Maybe I'd better stand back until I find out.

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I failed to get pics of her, she was in such a big hurry, and had to leave here at noon because she was getting her photo taken today. I said "I hope they get a good shot" and she got mad. She thought she was getting a shot and I had to explain that to her. It took awhile because when she gets mad, it's a tsunami. She left happy, her cousins are going too. Her Aunt Robyn's kids..she loves being with them. I hope she has an excellent day. I know I need some quiet. Really bad.

Too many things to do..and my brothers problems

Yesterday my brother called needing a ride, I was puzzled because I'd just given him a ride the day before and I couldn't figure out where he needed to go so badly. I've posted about my brother before on DirtyDisher and people have asked how he's doing. He's doing well now that his meds have been evened out. He's not in the Nut Hut anymore and is living in a care facility, like a half way house. It's nice and he likes it most of the time.
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So, I go to pick him up and he'd said he was uptown. I found him up on the square at a pharmacy and asked him what the deal was? Was he picking up meds or what? No, he told me "they" told him he should walk uptown to see if he could "overcome his disability." He got all the way uptown, and it's quite a walk, and he couldn't make it home. His legs hurt. He walks with a limp and I don't know why, but, it's real and he has some pain in his legs. He couldn't explain to me who the "they" was that told him to do this, so, I let it go. I think it was a well meaning worker who wanted to give him something to do. The problem was, he didn't have the money to call a cab when he couldn't get any further. He has some cash out there, but, it's kept in the cashiers office and the cashier decided to take an unplanned day off. So, the poor guy was stuck and he was embarrased.
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I have to explain to him that the person who suggested the walk was well meaning, but, it was not an order. He doesn't understand that. I have to teach him how to be polite, but, still stand up for himself. I've met some of the workers there and they are really great people, he likes them too. They talk to him, visit with him..he enjoys that. I also let him and them know that he can come home anytime he wants to. We'll see what happens, but, I think, for the most part, he likes it there. He has a roommate and it's a nice place, like a home, not an institution. They have horses in back and you can sit out there and watch them and smoke cigarettes and have endless coffee. It's good they let him smoke, he'd never stay there if they didn't. He's afraid of horses, he never had anything to do with mine, but, he likes animals and misses his cat. Maybe he can learn to enjoy watching them. I told him his cat is fine and happy. His cat is a bird killer though, but, if I told him that, he'd cry and not be able to sleep. I think the cat is going to get declawed...if not find a new home. Is that mean? And I am out of time, Lissa is here and I have to go to work.

Simon & Garfunkel plantings

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme...and Tarragon and Chives and flowers and...stuff. I've never grown herbs, I don't know why, I've grown nearly everything else. Probably because I am not a cook. But, I thought I'd try it and see what happens. The smell of Rosemary knocked my socks off. I had no idea fresh Rosemary smells that good. It was perfuming the entire garden with only one plant! I couldn't resist picking a little and putting it in a beef/veggie stew I cooked last night and OMG! Yum. Fresh picked is nothing like that dry stuff the store sells..nothing. Lovely stuff, that Rosemary.

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Miss Peggy stopped by and she had dug up some Chocolate Mint from her garden for me. It's a pretty little ground cover and I was tickled to get some. I've never seen it sold anywhere, she's the only person I know who has it. It smells like a Hershey bar. Cool. She also gave me pink Yarrow, I love Yarrow and have never had a pink variety. I got them both planted last night, the Yarrow does not seem to like being disturbed, so I thought I'd better get it right in. It perked up. By the way, I saw I have several followers this morning..you can click that link to the right to see. Blogger was messed up yesterday, it was a bad time to work on this place. I just found that out. Anyway, Miss Peggy has a little picture there and that's a nice picture. Looks just like her. She doesn't wear much makeup and I don't think she's ever cut her hair, she has really long hair. She has one of those faces that you just immediatly know you're going to like this person, you know? Peggy and her sister Judy and their mother are all artists. Peggy and I met in a shop a few years ago and found out we both chatted in the same chat room. Isn't that funny? Chatting on the internet when we discovered we only lived a few blocks from each other. It's a small world.

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Did you know Tarragon looks just like Rosemary? I did not know that. I marked them, but, now I can tell by the smell. I hope they do well there.

Todays mess

I went and bought some things yesterday. My goal is to have a nice garden, but, not spend a fortune on it. It kind of becomes counter productive when you do that, but, you have to buy some things, I guess. I spent about $40 bucks, but, a lot of that was for seeds. I found seeds at the Dollar Store priced at 3 packs for a buck. That's a very good price and they work. I already planted radishes from there and they're all up, not a skip in the row, so I guess they're as good as the seeds from anywhere else. Some things they didn't have and I had to pay $2.00-$2.79 a pack. That's too much for seeds! It pissed me off and I won't buy them again. I'll save my own seeds after this year.

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I usually run to the nursery and buy the same day I'm planting, but, yesterday I didn't have a chance to plant them, so there they sit. Yesterday I was so busy I couldn't even blog. It was old lady check day so I was running Mom and Aunt around and they had to go everywhere. They didn't make me wait as long as they usually do, so that was good. Boy, did they load up though and I have to carry it all in. They are just too old to be lifting all that stuff. They try and I have to be patient and tell them to JUST GO INSIDE. Please. They get in the way and it takes me forever to unload with them piddling around. If they'd just accept the help and go inside and sit down it would make my life easier. They stand in front of the open trunk and debate "Is this your bread, Louella, or is this my bread?" "Oh, no, I bought rye bread, it's good for arthritis." Or some such shit, while I stand there trying to lug their 200 lbs. of cat food in the house. And the bread debate is ridiculous because they live in the same house! Then they block the door, talking about this cat or that cat (whichever cats are trying to get in or out) while I'm standing there with my arms full of heavy stuff and waiting for them to move. I try very hard to be patient, but, I can't make them understand that they make it more difficult for me with their "help."

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Finally, I got them situated and I had a chance to run to the nursery and Mom had to go. That's fine, she wasn't a pain this time, but, she bought a bunch of big stuff that I will have to plant for her. Left to her own devices, it would be a disaster and I will blog about my Mother's gardening some other time. It's unbelievable. And not in a good way.

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Then I came home and sat down to eat and blog, because my blood sugar was low (I'm a diabetic) and my brother called needing a ride. I grabbed a chicken drumstick and left...again. More on that in the next post.

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All I have to say about these pics is, will I ever get all this grass removed or will this just be a mess? It's hard work and it looks ugly. And why did I ever leave that old baking rack in back there by Mom's house (which is in front of my house)? Now it's become a catch all for Lissa's yard toys and junk and I have to clean that up. And I have to go to work today when I really want to garden. And when I get off work, I'll have Lissa for the weekend, which will be fun, but, I doubt I get much done. Story of my life..probably yours too, right? There's never enough time in a day.

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When I finally got a chance to sit down, I realized the lawn was out of hand and I had to mow. I really do hate mowing. I could do a whole post on that. I probably will too.