Sunday, June 14, 2009

Bitch Beaver (worn out cootch on display)



Kate: Officer, I'm so glad you responded. I could almost say thanks, but, that's not in my vulcbularious.
Officer: Yes, Mrs. Gosselin, I also responded the last seven times you called today and..
Kate: Oh, tee heee! Well, you DO work for me, you know? You are my personal servant!
Officer: Umm, no, Mrs. G, I'm not. I actually work for the..
Kate: Let's not split hairs, shant we? I'm exhausted. Now, let's do something about these paparazzi. They're getting my crotch today and holding my legs open is exhausted-ish.
Officer: But, the paps say YOU called them AND gave them permission. AND you're out here shooting beaver and bending over!
Kate: Don't piss me off, Barney Fife. I'll beat you with a red spoon so fast. By the way, I know you're a fan. The whole police department just LOVES us. They love our kids. Would you like an autograph? At a discount, of course.
Officer: No.
Kate: Oh, tee hee. I guess you want to see my pussy. Everyone does. Men! Tee hee. It's shaved, by the way, and quite organic-ish.
Officer: No.
Hannah: Hi Mister! Are you ARE new daddy? Do you think poop in unerwears is funny, New Daddy? I smell poopy. Poopeee poopeeeeeee.
Kate: Hannah! Don't be an attention hog! I'm not wearing a bra. See?
************************

If you don't know what's funny here, go to Snarks and read how a police officer complains about Kate Gosselin. You can also see more of Kate's crotch flashing and oral sex with a popsicle there, but, be warned. I had nightmares about frozen treats being chased by old cans of tuna while they cried for their balls back.

18 comments:

gardenhoe said...

You know what I just realized? No matter how fucked up my family is..there is NO ONE in it as crazy as Kate.

Lil Wayne said...

That cooch is not worn out. Trust me.

Anonymous said...

How can a woman her age, with paps everywhere, not realize what's gonna happen when she squats in a sundress? How could that be accidental?

Heidi said...

It is not. Anyone with an ounce of sense knows not to do things like that in a dress. They were taught to keep their legs closed in a dress. She was either never taught or she knew exactly what she was doing.

Heidi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

what is tied around her thigh? Is that a cell phone? .. or a mic pack maybe? thought it was a garter belt at first

gardenhoe said...

I didn't know either, but, she made sure the world saw it. She knew.

Shelly said...

I think the lumpy tits were explained away by a spanx gone horribly wrong accident. She know her under choices were askew, so she's trying to awkwardly hide the evidence with her hands.
She's just a squishy fucking lump isn't she? Like that Presidents of the United States of America song, Lump.
"Lump sat alone in a buggy marsh, totally motionless except for her heart." I thinks the song is about an overweight toad.

I HATE EVERYBODY! said...

Maybe the crotch shot was a pathetic attempt by Kate to attempt a comeback?

So its time for Kate to divorce Jon and get married again (and whore the relationship out), have more kids (and whore them out), get another divorce (and whore out her "pain").

I dunno but it could happen....

gardenhoe said...

I COULD happen. This is a sick world.

Eric in San Diego said...

Well, she's really over the top now, eh? Beaver shots all around, fellas!! She is getting desperate, as she can see the end of the gravy train. TLC cannot keep them on the air much longer, or they'll lose their viewership. Kate did the same thing when the OCC guys showed up with her scooter and Jon's motorcycle...she was running around and riding that scooter in a denim skirt and some really TALL wedges. What a diva...

Nina said...

I thought the thing around her leg might have been a sweat band...Who knows what could have leaked out of that uncovered cavernous cave of commodity births...

Anonymous said...

notice of course, all the little moneymakers are holding juicy-juice boxes.

konspiracytheory said...

Apparently the thing around her leg is holding her mic pack for filming.

Pat said...

Alawys with the cameras, huu?

Anonymous said...

Any idea how credit crunch affected porn?

Anonymous said...

crazy idea i know but how do u think credit cruch affected porn?

Anonymous said...

Hello,

I mostly visits this website[url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips].[/url]You have really contiributed very good info here lambsquartergarden.blogspot.com. Do you pay attention towards your health?. In plain english I must warn you that, you are not serious about your health. Recent Research points that nearly 80% of all USA grownups are either chubby or overweight[url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips].[/url] Hence if you're one of these individuals, you're not alone. Its true that we all can't be like Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, and have sexy and perfect six pack abs. Now next question is how you can achive quick weight loss? Quick weight loss can be achived with little effort. Some improvement in of daily activity can help us in losing weight quickly.

About me: I am author of [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips]Quick weight loss tips[/url]. I am also mentor who can help you lose weight quickly. If you do not want to go under difficult training program than you may also try [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/acai-berry-for-quick-weight-loss]Acai Berry[/url] or [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/colon-cleanse-for-weight-loss]Colon Cleansing[/url] for effortless weight loss.