Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Is Barbie a hooker now?





Lis got some new Barbie clothes, she hates dolls and loves cars..but, she does play with Barbies. So last night we got out the suitcases of frickin' Barbies and we tried dressing them. Christ, it says Barbie right on the package. The shit is made by Mattel..yet the pants didn't fit. I could get them over Barbies muscular calves and bulbous hips. Barbie looks like a cheap drunk with her ass hanging out. There is no way a child could put any of this crap on Barbie, so basically any adult in the vicinity is stuck struggling to dress the little plastic hookers. The accessories are questionable too. WTF does a grown woman doll need a bouquet of plastic lollipops for? To go with her baby doll dress that doesn't come with panties? The lollipop outfit came with stiletto hooker boots. Go figure that out. And what the hell is up with Barbie's hair? Their mass of polyurethane extensions belongs in the plastic recycle bin, or a Vegas tranny show, not on Barbie's head. My old Barbies are in the attic. Their pony tails and bubble cuts still look the same, their clothes fit and you don't need double joints and pliers to get them on and they still look like ladies. They still have on their underpants! These bitches look like they came off Mattel's rock of love bus. They need a little plastic razor blade and a little plastic line of crank.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAH! I just got up, and you gave me the best laugh of the day right there, Pat! What IS that bouquet of plastic lollipops for, anyway? Scary!! ;)

Thanks again for the funny...and belated birthday wishes to Lissa! ;)

10G

gardenhoe said...

Beats me. Barbie is quite the whore lately. She looks like Kate Gosselin without the beaver hair.

Anonymous said...

I am on a con call and actually laughed out loud reading this post! Woops

Mags

Nadine said...

Lmaooooooooooooooooo.... now that you mention all this about Barbie, I can see how right you are hahaha she does look a bit of a slut hahaha.... Send your comments to Mattel and let us know how they react, I bet you get a letter in return.... maybe a whole new wardrobe that fits!!!!

Naseem said...

lol

I wonder if Barbie was like this when I was a kid. Damn, I'm old...I can't remember.

Biz said...

LMAO.

Thanks for that Pat.

Anonymous said...

You are so right! My niece just turned 6 and my sister decided to introduce her to Barbie. So I bought her some Barbie stuff too but was shocked at the clothing options. I texted my sister right then and there and said that Barbie has turned into a slut. It's so disappointing because I loved playing with Barbie as a little girl and loved dressing her in pretty outfits.

Anonymous said...

Ahahahaha that was the greatest rant! Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

always said that Barbie needed some friggin fat on her lol

crystal

Christy said...

This was AWESOME! LMFAO

Pat said...

The hair fucks with my head the most. WTF is up with that mass of shit on their heads? WTF are kids supposed to do with that??

coffeebean said...

I have had a hell of a week and that was the best laugh I've had in a while. Thank you!!!! Double jointed with a pair of pliers, ha ha ha! I like the pic with Barbie's ass hanging out.