Sunday, June 28, 2009

Me, Lis and the hose





Nothin' much to say here. It was fun. Lissa took the pic of me and her, I showed her how. She squirted me with the hose and I told her if she did it again, I'd shut off the water. She did it again, so I shut off the water. She didn't do it in a fit of giggles, like kids do..and she didn't do it for meanness. Sometimes I think she's missing her shut off button. Anyhow, she was mad and I was wet, but, she still had her wading pool out, so she got over it. We made some kick ass mud pies and we were both filthy.
*
And Miss Peggy, thank you for the bench. It makes a nice place to sit in the shade. And I have something disturbing to write too, I'm putting it in the comments.

37 comments:

gardenhoe said...

This morning Lissa was full of energy and for some reason poked me in the eye. She did it on purpose. She got me full on, hard, and I didn't have time to blink. My eyeball is scratched. There is no hiding it, it's swollen and red and it's tearing up. So, mom saw it.. (her ass is in and out of here all the time)...she said "what happened to your eye and why is Lissa throwin' a fit?" I told her what happened and that Lissa feels guilty because she hurt me and doesn't know how to handle it. I was trying to calm Lis down, she was screaming and hiding under a blanket. Mom says, real loud "I never saw a kid like that! I think she's mentally ill!" I was so pissed off. I told her to go fuck herself. (I did it outside when Lis was watching TV." I told Lis not to pay any attention to that, that Great Grandma is just old and..she filled in the blank with "Tuwella gets confused" I said yes, and you are fine and will have a great day and remember not to hit or poke anyone again..okay?

Lis is off to Grandpa's house now where she will spend the day with her cousins...and I hope have fun and play nice. That god damn old lady pisses me off so much, she's not going to say shit like that about Lissa and fuck her head up. There's going to be a big fight here. Who the fuck does she think she is calling anyone else mentally ill???? Same shit she used to do to me, but, this time Lis has ME to kick some ass for her.

Anonymous said...

Love the summer waterhose pics, looks like it was a good day. She looks more and morelike you as she matures.

gardenhoe said...

We were posting at the same time. It was a good day until fucktards got involved.

Anonymous said...

You did the right thing cutting it off mid stream. It's one thing to talk to you in privated about concerns she might have about Lissa, but totally uncacceptable to say it the way she did. ((hugs)) just breath deep. Who knows what 10 years will bring any of us, let alone a child who's come up against some tough odds and been beating them inspite of it all since birth. She's plucky, has gumption mixed with all that charm and she's damned lucky she has you!

gardenhoe said...

I think the thing that pisses me off the most at that old lady is her inability to admit any wrong doing. Everything is someone else's fault and she's perfect. I am taking a pill. No, two.

Heather said...

Lovely photos of you and Lis :)

Corina said...

love the pictures!! And it never ceases to amaze me how people can so easily point out the wrong doings of others when they themselves are severely fucked up. Good for you for standing up though, Lissa is so lucky to have such an understanding person. :)

Pat said...

I think I made a big mistake coming back here, even for a free house. My family is toxic.

Naseem said...

Its good that your are protecting Lissa from the meanness because things like that leave life long scars. Like my weight obsession. Good thing Lissa has you.

Great photos! You look wayyy younger than your age.

Pat said...

I cropped out my neck wrinkles. We all have something that bugs us. Let's go eat cheese burgers.

Maureen said...

No one, but no one would say anything about my grandson like that and get away with it! I am so protective of him, more so than I was with my kids. I think because we're older now we see how negativity can affect children. I just want him to grow up well adjusted and know that he is loved unconditionally. God help anyone who would hurt him-mentally or physically.

gardenhoe said...

Yeah, it pissed me off. My mother is not very bright. How are you, Maureen? How old is your grandson?

Anonymous said...

Is it something with that generation where people have no common courtesy and find it necessary to say stupid shit like that? My mother is the same way and it pisses me off but she continues to say ignorant stuff regardless how many times I put her in her place. I've trained myself to ignore her but sometimes she just goes too far. Anyway, love the pic of you and Liss...she is getting so big!

Anonymous said...

Pat said...

I think I made a big mistake coming back here, even for a free house. My family is toxic.


I was wondering if you would start to feel that way. Before you made up your mind to move there, you posted that your family was toxic but that you loved your mom, or something like that. That's pretty big of you. My N mother thinks she's perfect too and has the rest of the family coerced to say the same thing. I don't love her. I don't know what's it's like to love an N. If you can do it, that's admirable.

misstiajournal said...

when i saw that pix of you and i lissa i thought that would make a great icon and i see you did just that! :D

oh that would get my dander up what your mom said! makes me angry just reading it! i cannot imagine how much self-control that took on your part without blowing a gasket....

kids sometimes just do things...they have emotions they don't know how to deal with (and you've written a bit about her mom) and they just act out sometimes...

watch some TPB...."fuck community college let's get drunk and eat chicken fingers"....episode title and sometimes a good motto!

misstiajournal said...

ps---it's obvious your mom doesn't understand boundaries....that might be something to look up--how to deal with someone not respecting boundaries....

with3love said...

I swear I thought that pic was of your daughter, not of you! Wow, you look really good dd!

Sorry about the eye, and all that other stuff....really dont know what to say. I would have done the same thing in your position.

I've had complete strangers say the meanest things.

IE: We were shopping for kids shampoo in Target last week. My three kids, & husband...its our family fun, dont ask why it takes so many people to pick out shampoo. Anyway, a woman walks past us said

"That's why I leave my kids at home, they act retarded!"

My dh said "SOMEONE'S RETARDED!"

she looked up and passionately screeched out "MY KIDS ARE RE-TAR-DED!!!"

then she walked away. I could not believe that wacko! My kids werent even out of hand...really, maybe crazy people blurt stuff like that out...idk.

Anonymous said...

Can I ask? Where were you before you moved back "home"? And what did you do for a living? I may seem a too curious but I was wondering how you came to where/how you are today. I love your blog. Melissa

gardenhoe said...

Tia, I love that episode. I really like Ricky and Lucy as parents. They are what my parents would have been if they had liked me. Those two loser criminals always let that kid, Trinity, know that she is loved. I think they're pretty okay. YOUR mother, on the other hand, should have been burnt at the stake. My sympathy.

With3...I can't beliieve you didn't haul off and pop that stupid bitch. Glad you didn't, she wasn't worth jail time. But, you can bet her kids will end up there.

gardenhoe said...

Melissa, moved out at age 14, never went back, but, kept in touch. Got pregnant at 17, raised him alone. I did many things, some I'm proud of, some not so much. Got a GED at 25 and went to college. Graduated in three years, got married had a second child at 29. Got divorced. Many many jobs, I always worked. Many adventures too. Many crazy adventures. I was always afraid I'd miss something.

gardenhoe said...

Anon, you know what she (my mom) just said to me? She said she's not mad at me anymore, she's decided it's this heat that makes me act so bad. Then she smiled and went home.

misstiajournal said...

yeah ricky and lucy are great parents in that they always let trinity know she is loved and they want a better life for her...ricky even kissed lahey's ass so trinity could have a set of encyclopedias...

i think burning at the stake is too good for my mother...she's still alive...but at least she's on the other side of the state from you! and my mother thinks she was a good parent! clue phone??? ring ring...

i've started drinking rum & cokes and i've dubbed them 'julians'!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you are a true force of nature, Pat. Leaving home at 14 and managing to graduate in mid-late 20s with 2 kids.

You say that you were always afraid you'd miss something. I often have had that same feeling. What did you think you might be missing?

Thanks for sharing this with us all - obviously, your experiences strike chords with many of us, on many different levels for all of us - although I have never experienced anything close to that - I guess I was extremely "blessed" (hate that term but good as I am lacking any other right now...).

You should be proud of yourself. Regardless of what you had to do to make ends meet and eke by. Your children, no doubt, were/are proud of you too.

Melissa

Pat said...

It's nice to have people say good things about me, but, the truth is, I was one, confused, pissed off chick who fucked up and much as I did good. I went through so many periods in life, it's like I've lived 10 life times. I am no one to look up to. If I can offer anything it is because I truly have been there done that and I am finally figuring out how things should be.

Pat said...

Amd missing things....bad terminology, but, basically, I meant anything interesting, no matter what it was. No matter if it was dangerous. I wasn't brave, you have to feel fear to be brave. Hmm. To find the best and worst behaviors in the men I grew up around' in myself. To NOT be like the women who raised me. To get out there and do SOMETHING. And not need anyone.

Pat said...

And Tia is right..kids just do the strangest things. They act on impulse. I really don't think Lis meant to actually hurt me. She felt terrible when she saw that she did. What did my mom expect me to do, grab her by the arm and whack her like a Gosselin? Lissa's guilt was punishment enough. And, I didn't feel the need to ruin her day by harping on it.

Anonymous said...

Well those N's are superb at forgiveness. To anyone who is at all useful to them, they bestow their forgiveness. They sure are good people and yer lucky you got one so handy. You must be feeling a lot better now that yer in her good graces again.

Pat said...

Yeah, I know. But, my biggest goal is to have some peace. I just want to NOT be fucked with. My mind does not have time for these games. Sometimes it's better to shut up an let them have their illusion.

Anonymous said...

with love3: here's another Target story for you.
My daughters roomy was in line at Target on Saturday, in her swimsuit cover up jumper with her bikini underneath, you couldnt see anything. It was 95 that day she was on her way to a friends pool. She is Filipino, small girl, 25 years old. So, this woman of hispanic heritage comes up to her in lne and sees she is paying with all one dollar bills and remarks "You are rich! All that money and a Coach bag too!"...so the room mate says "Excuse me?" the woman then says to her "Are you a stripper"? OMG!!! Can you imagine? So, the room mate tells her "NO!" that she is a hairstylist and walks away. What some people wont say to total strangers??, makes me wonder what they must say to their friends & relatives! I never cease to be amazed by peoples ignorance. Family is no exception, ever!!! In fact family are the main abusers of free speech! Like they have a pass to say anything and you have to accept it.

Anonymous said...

WOW, I don't think I have seen a photo with you and Liss together or if I have not ever noticed how much she looks like you.

Connie

shmedelle said...

Some people lack an abilty to filter what they think before they say it because they are so stupid.

When we were in the holding area, waiting for Anesthesia to take Haze to the OR, a mom who's son was having a cleft palate surgery asked me, "what part is she being operated on?" I said, "her brain".
(This was unsolicited on my part. I really didn't want to go into it 'cause I was trying to keep my daughter calm.) This retards response was, "OH MY GOD! They are going to open up her head? OH MY GOD!" I said yes, and walked away.
I wasn't mad. I just thought how pathetic it is, that, this woman has to live her life minus any social skills.

Pat,
I thought you said you were 56? That is you in the pic, right?
Damn. You must be using some good skin care!
It is very impressive that you earned a degree in 3 yrs!
What did you get your degree in?

Nadine said...

Pat, the pic is great and YUP you are looking good... relaxed and happy... much more so than where you lived before moving back to the "crazy farm" lol. Your mom definitely has a few screws missing, but hey... YOU KNEW THAT ALL ALONG... the good thing is that Lissa loves her so she doesn't really "register" dumb remarks... she puts it in the "weird old lady commets" in her mind.
I knew that you'd have your moments of "did I do the rigth thing" about moving into the little house... but yes I think you did Pat... just set some boundaries for your mom, which she will probably ignore most of the time, but you can quickly remind her when things aren't as you'd like.
Lis looks happy as hell... and that happiness is because of the "normal" life she has with you and your crazy family.... what she has at home with her nutcase of a mother is what will affect her negatively.
Hugs to Lis ... and of course a biggie to you also...

frimmy said...

I think no matter what is said and done around Lissa, you have the right instincts to do and say the right thing in response. You `get` her and you love her unconditionally. Seems to me like you consistantly do the Right Thing with her. For example when you told her if she sprayed you, you would turn off the hose. Then when she did, you turned it off just like you said. You`re building a relationship in which she knows she can rely on you. That is a gift.

As for toxic Moms...at this point you aren`t going to change her. I try to cherish the rare moments of cognizance I get with my Mother where she realizes how inappropriate and hurtful her words are. It`s a gossamer moment in time when that happens - when I can say what I think and she sees it. Meanwhile lock your doors and keep enveloping Lissa in your nurturing aura of safety and love. She`s going to thrive.

misstiajournal said...

hearing the word 'toxic' made me recall a book called 'toxic parents'....it's a pretty good book...written by a shrink....

Anonymous said...

Everytime I see the commercial on tv about going to the aquarium with your daughter on a tuesday, I think that little girl looks like Lissa. Such a cutie. I think it's a Visa commercial, but it's one I actually like. :)

Pat said...

i AM 56, but, remember I am not a sun person. And I used to be good looking, now I'm not. I don't photoshop, but, I am not above taking a BUNCH of pics and finding one good one and cutting out what I don't like. I look 56, trust me.

shmedelle said...

Pat said,
I look 56, trust me.
...........

Shut up. You do not.
I won. lol