Tuesday, June 2, 2009

What Kate Gosselin doesn't understand

Kate Gosselin is superior in one area. Her sense of self importance. Hers is greater than everyone in the world, and her burden is greater. Her sense of herself is so vast it boggles the mind. She gives and is paid to give speeches on the immense difficulty of motherhood. The only thing that makes her physically different from most mothers is the fact that she birthed six at once. In Kate's mind this makes her THE most important mother of all time. And she has completely convinced herself she works harder at it than any of us can ever understand.
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Endlessly and with little or no provocation, Kate will spew forth a diatribe, anyplace, anytime, about her huge responsibilities. Oh My God, there's the feeding and the cleaning. Don't forget the speech making. At $25,000 a pop, one can hardly forget. The TLC network generates a great amount of money from Kate's mothering skills. I don't think that part of the Gosselin phenomenon bothers anyone. We are used to phonys and fakery for money. What bothers everyone, besides the exploitation of eight minor children, is that Kate herself has become convinced that TLC and every fluff magazine article is right. No one else can do what Kate is doing. My goodness, she has eight children!
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I'll let you in on a little secret all mothers know...kids are annoying, time consuming and ungrateful. If you are a selfish person, do not have kids. If you are a normal person, a decent person..g'head. But, I'm warning you right now, they will take your life and turn you into a slave. They will ask for something 24 hours a day, they will scream, cry, fight, get sick, make you sick, ruin your hearing, wear you to the bone, level your home, damage everything you own, and it never stops. The annoyance and irritation levels reach crescendos you never imagined, stress will cease being your middle name and become your legal first name. You will also have to spend endless hours playing ridiculous games a brain damaged monkey invented and listening to music that makes you long for a sharp number two pencil to jam in your eardrums. But, you won't be able to find a pencil, because your kids have it. Worst of all, they may never say thank you. But, you won't care, because as unbelievable as this sounds, they are incredibly cute and you will love them unconditionally. Child induced insanity is it's own reward.
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So how come all mothers know this, except Kate Gosselin? She already had twins when she gave birth to sextuplets. Kate can't stand her kids, yet she deliberately had a litter. Of course she planned it. She was seen carrying around a copy of the McCaughey book about their septuplets before she even had her six. I don't think I have to be a member of Mensa to figure out her motives. Fame and fortune called. But, Kate HAD to know what kind of burden she'd deal with emotionally. And I think what bothers people the most about her is the fact that she honestly, in her small ignorant mind, believes she is a better parent than any of us. And we know better. She insults her children, puts them down, snerls her nose, sighs with, cough, exhaustion, calls them names like ugly and icky and can barley stand to be in the same room with them unless the camera is running and she's looking at a fat paycheck.
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The other thing that bothers us about Kate is that her kids are now five and eight and she's still acting like it's too much for her to handle. Kids that age are not that much of a pain in the ass when they're your kids. They go outside, they read, they watch movies, they play. It's not like she has them in her face all day. Jon and Kate have 30 acres bought with money the children earned, they have room. Hey, I'm not even a kid person, but, I could handle them. But, I don't have to. You know why? I didn't give birth to them, Kate did. Yet Kate thinks we owe it to her to take care of them. Another of her famous brain fart statements. Kate says they wanted just one more, but, they rolled the baby dice and lost. She actually said they lost. Yeah, that bothers people. It bothers people a lot.
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And so, while Kate continues to delude herself that her burden is too great and act like she can not stand her own children, but, wants to be paid for any short time spent with them, she continues to truly believe she is the best mom in the world and all of us suck and don't understand her. Because we haven't walked a mile in her designer shoes. Yet, she justifies the fact that she's rarely home with the kids, because she works. Her "job" is talking about how they gambled in the baby lottery and lost.
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My uncle Paul and his wife had 13 kids and one bathroom. They'd never heard of a nanny. All their kids turned out fine and they never called the boys icky or the girls ugly and mean. Kate Gosselin needs to learn a few things about kids, like how to occasionally like and enjoy them. That might help and if she can't do that, she needs to stop talking about her non existent mothering skills. She needs to stop hiring writers to pen books for her and go home. You know, home. Where the kids are. You'd think in the almost nine years she's been a mother she could figure that out. Even a cow can figure that out. And cows are notoriously stupid. Apparently, not as stupid as Kate Gosselin though.

16 comments:

lisa K said...

Hey DD, Love the new site. I just found it. Great post also.

OmeOmy said...

Ditto DD! I posted a "note" to you on Musings, under recap. It has been humbling to read of your childhood. Thanks for sharing! I also love your new site! Replaced your old w/the new on My Favs list!

Eric in San Diego said...

Kate is so infuriating for any REAL parent to watch. She is "exhausted" all the freakin' time, yet seems to find the time for a mani/pedi like every other day. Putting a grape on a paper plate and then bitching about it should not qualify one to write a cookbook, yet Kate has one coming out! My sweet was watching the new episode last night where Kate took Mady to San Diego. Great. Now they know where I live! Anyway, good ol' Kate couldn't seem to stand being around even ONE of her children. Disgusting...

Naseem said...

That was really well said. Kate doesn't look like the mothering type I can only think of the money factor to influence her to have so many children. My BIL is one of 13 or 14 and while it disturbs me that his mother had to so many children to have a couple of boys at the end. But the parents provided for each kid and took good care of them the best they could. You know without the reality show and money. Kate is delusional to think she is mother of a year. Hah.

gardenhoe said...

Hey, thanks for reading here!

Anonymous said...

awesome well written post :-)

Frimmy said...

Very well written post. I don't watch the show. It makes me sad for the kids and helpless that I can't help them.

Anonymous said...

Greetings at new blog, DD! Am glad you are still in the game. I agree with you on so many points--hey, my husband and I are a couple of admittedly selfish only children, and we chose not to have kids (for many reasons)...especially in light of the fact that they ARE challenging and sooo demanding. Parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart, and we are admittedly chickenshit!!

Having said that....WHY Kon didn't decide to just adopt after the twins....nevermind. Your post is perfect, I need say anything more. Again, glad you are still among the living! ;)

10G (Gina)

Jennifer A. said...

Love the post and its so true. Life is crazy for me with only two but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Anonymous said...

That was the best post written about the Gosselin's thus far.

Nina said...

DD,
I love the site and am sooo looking forward to all the pieces of your life you share as well as your insights on other topics. That was always my favorite part of your old site.

Your take on Kate was spot on. Parenting take was even better...
You're a great gal with a lot of heart and soul. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Shelly said...

This is why I only had one. I love kids, and my kid especially, but I'm not cut out to handle a load of children. I knew that going into it. I like my quiet too much, and my one kid is a perfect fit. People have too many children these days. I'm not knocking large families, I'm saying some people are using babies to fill voids and fix things that aren't their job to fix.

gardenhoe said...

I'm so glad people have joined me here, it makes me happy. Thanks.

Maureen said...

This was a great post, really pinpoints how selfish the bitch, known as Kate,has become.
I read all your posts on this blog, kept me up late, but I was very amused, as usual, with your thoughts!
Really can't blame you for getting bored with the celebs,we really can't relate to them, gardening is definately relative!

Disher said...

I admire people who decide they don't want children and don't have any. It's a smart choice for some people and though they miss that parent/kid love that equals no other, they have freedom.

I also admire people who have the number of children they can take care of. And I admire anyone who raises children right, because it really is the world hardest job. I admire nothing about Kate Gosselin except her ability to scam millions. That's pretty good for someone as brain impared as that bitch is.

Disher said...

BTW, I just liked that pic of Aaiden. All Kate's kids are super cute. I don't understand how a wonky eyed skank can birth such good looking kids.