Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hydroponically stoned

I was watching Net TV last night and the House series was a season I'd seen, so I switched to a movie, got bored again and switched to channel called Smoke Shack. It was some kid growing pot hydroponically. I have never grown anything hydro, so I started getting into this kids info. Man, he had quite a set up, EXPENSIVE, tubes and tubs and timers and fans and lights and even big canisters of CO2 on timers. I was rightly impressed. Then he finally gets ready to plant his plants and he pulls out this little bag of seed. Seeds? Not female clones?? Seeds? Yeah, he said he knew they were good because he ordered them off the Internet.
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I groaned. Nooo. He did it anyway. This poor kid wasted so many months trying to figure out male plants and female plants..I about cried. Because it was clear he loved his garden as much as I love mine. In case you don't know..male plants don't bud. With seeds, there is no way to know if all your plants will have to be destroyed because they aren't female. You are taking a huge risk to potentially get nothing.
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Poor little fucker finally did end up with an impressive quarter pound off four little plants, but, it took him....god, I don't know, years?? Though he was painted green as a disguise, Jesus, he seemed to be growing older as the videos went on. All I could think was, if he'd had a Grandma who taught him to grow Tomatoes he would have been a rich and happy little dude in three months. Grandma's know how to clone Tomatoes. LMAO!

5 comments:

Biz said...

I'm dying, that was hysterical. poor little bugger... HAHA...That is why I keep coming back to your 2 pages, because of your interpretation. Love it. In my earlier/pre-momma&wife days I saw a few hydro set ups (hidden in closets and such mind you) that gave me a headache just looking at them.

Disher said...

I've never seen hydroponic. Big pot growers in this area, but, they always move it outside. Farm country, ya know. This kid sure knew the system, for real, but, he didn't know plants. He'll learn, I guess, if he can stay out of jail.

Disher said...

Oh, the names of his plants were hilarious. White Widow and AK47. Dude, what happened to good old skunk? I'm so old.

Biz said...

HAHA... That is creative, a few years ago the good hydro stuff was called Blueberries... don't know why, it wasn't flavored.

Disher said...

Marihoonie is kind of fun to watch grow. Almost everyone here has some ditch in the yard, it grows everwhere. It smells so gross. Then every once in awhile I'll spot some real stuff, and you can tell because the fools always try to hide it, making it obvious. I like the smell of it, but, I never have liked smoking it. It aint my thing.